508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The beer is more important than you right now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
