Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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