No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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