Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
