Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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