Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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