is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
