sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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