That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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