This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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