I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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