I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
