A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
