Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize