i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
