just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My liver just had a heart attack.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you made out with another girl for some wings
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize