Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
