She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
