You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
