i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
