At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
