Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
