So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
