I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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