I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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