I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I deserve this hangover.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
