she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
