I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
