Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
