I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
