I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
