you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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