I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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