how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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