Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
