Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
