I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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