Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
