I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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