Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
