R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
