I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize