Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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