Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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