i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
