well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
