I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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