he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
