Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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