Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
