people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
