She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize