My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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