i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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