This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize