Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
