I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
